Malfunction Light Is Illuminated

I noticed yesterday that the "malfunction indicator light" on the dashboard of my car had gone it. It made me laugh out loud. Of course it did. How perfectly appropriate. "The malfunction light can indicate hundred of potential problems," the VW operator told me, and asked if I wanted to bring the car in for a diagnostic test. Actually, I wanted to say, could I bring my self in. I could use a complete diagnostic examination to try to locate sources of the many malfunctions in my malfunctioning L.A. life.

On the phone, the operator told me the light could merely be calling to attention to a small problem like the gas cap not being put on properly. This afternoon, I popped open the door to the gas tank -- and the cap was not screwed on at all. So I screwed it on tight -- and the light went off. If only it were that simple for me.

Though there is no diagnostic for my life, I'm going to give myself the next best thing: A long weekend out in the desert at my dad's. I'll have some peace and quiet, be taken care of, get taken out to dinner and the movies. Maybe that will help shut off my own malfunction indicator light.