Feeling California

Sometimes California feels so much like home it’s crazy. The sun on my face; the heat bouncing off the pavement; the smell of eucalyptus; the sidewalks on residential streets, narrow and buckled like the ones of my childhood; the warm, dry breeze. There are so many subtle sensory triggers that bring me back to my past, it’s sometimes overwhelming.

I lived in New York for 13 years and after a while I became highly sensitized the memories attached to physical places in the city. Certain corners, bars, parks, landmarks all elicited specific memories of my 20s and early 30s. Here in L.A., places don’t mean anything to me – half the time I am a few blocks from being totally lost – but the feeling of this state, of the topography, the weather, the land is familiar and often comforting. It’s odd to feel both so lost and so at home all at once.