I am on the verge. The verge of what I am not sure. It could be a nervous breakdown. It could be a beautiful breakthrough. This move has hit me hard. Everything is more lonely and tense and trying and financially stressful than I imagined. A ray of light came last week when I got an offer on my NYC apt. -- a good one. And just when we were thisclose to at least shaking on the deal, the buyer backed out. And the jitter of happiness I'd been feeling suddenly snapped. And now I am ready to quit my job, move to the beach, sell my car, stop washing my hair and turn into a professional beach bum. Ok, so it's not that likely I'll do all – or any – of that. But then again, maybe ....
I will say that through this, Matt has been very nice and understanding. Even though he does not like random, destination unknown adventures, he came with me on a drive to Santa Monica yesterday. He did not protest when I told him I wanted to find where Sunset Boulevard meets the ocean. And he didn't complain when we hit lots of traffic on the Pacifc Coast Highway, or when I turned onto Topanga Canyon and couldn't turn around. He looked at our very incomplete map and navigated the way home. For me, driving just to explore, to see beautiful new things and risk getting lost is the kind of remedy I needed. Thanks, Matt, for coming along for the ride.
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